Slowhand

by John Geysen

Growing up I never learned how to play an instrument. Two weeks ago I decided to change that. It’s been gnawing at me for a while. Now my fingers hurt and my brain aches.

But for a few classes in junior high I never studied music. It might be too late to become a rock star but that’s not what I’m after.

So, with the best intentions, I picked up Guitar For Dummies and dove in, mixing my reading with some great guitar lessons available on Youtube. Who needs the Berklee College of Music when you’ve got some dude with a webcam.

The guitar is a way to challenge myself, a hobby that beats watching American Idol. The pieces have started to fall into place but it’s still rough (really rough) going.

I face one huge obstacle, a complete lack of rhythm. Think Steve Martin in “The Jerk.” This might discourage a sane person but I’ve been here before and this time I’m determined to keep going.

Let’s return to the beginning. This isn’t the first time I picked up a guitar. My initial foray with the old six string left me feeling bitter.

Now don’t get me wrong, I love music. I dig rock n’ roll and believe in its glorious power. It can transform society, blah, blah, blah.
However, when you really get down to it, back in college I just wanted to impress some girls. I’ve done a lot of dumb things in my life for this very reason. I know what you are thinking, based on the picture accompanying this column it’s hard to believe I ever needed any help with the ladies. Well I did. But the guitar was a colossal failure.

My friend Tom, who has been described as a subtle genius, for his ability to quickly learn things, promised to teach me how to play. Tom would always manage to break out his guitar or randomly find a piano when a lot of girls where around. He’d start in with “Hey Jude” or “Piano Man” as if it was all just a spur of the moment thing. If it sounds like I’m taking shots at my friend’s motives, it’s because I am. He’s wasn’t playing because he loved music.

After a few frustrating attempts Tom abandoned me. I pressed on and worked at it. That doesn’t change the fact you couldn’t recognize a single song I “played.” That’s fine when you are a beginner but after a few months people start asking questions. My guitar soon became an albatross. I wouldn’t give up but I wasn’t getting any better.

As I packed up after earning my degree I zipped the guitar into its case and there it sat until a few weeks ago. Being unable to play always ate at my ego. I paid the price for starting something for the wrong reasons.

Besides the busier I am the better. I find a finite amount of time to devote to a task helps me focus. Guitar (much to the dismay of my cat) has become my little zen part of the day.

I am trying to better myself and put right something I never finished. Maybe next month I’ll tackle algebra.

And special thanks to Marty Schwartz at www.guitarjamz.com without his youtube lessons I would have been lost forever.

This column originally appeared in The Sun Chronicle

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